When We Tend To Our Lives, They Bloom

Imagine a garden lovingly tended by a skilled gardener. Each plant, each flower, each tree, nurtured with intention and attention to detail. This garden thrives, not by chance, but through the deliberate efforts of its caretaker. But what makes for a truly beautiful garden - and what makes for a beautiful life?

Endings are hard and we often resist them.

Autumn’s energies of maturation and dying can teach us embrace them with care and reverence - and to reveal their generative power…

Here's what I'm hearing lately: 

People wishing that they were feeling peppy, motivated and making powerful headway with meaningful new projects and goals.

But truthfully feeling tired, 'already behind,' and a little dismayed at how much they want to veg out.

If you relate: you're not alone - read on for encouragement…

Are you ready for change and wondering if coaching or therapy might help?

Are are unclear about the differences between a life coach and a therapist?

In this blog, I’ll offer a brief outline regarding some benefits and limits of coaching and therapy to help you get clear on the guidance that might best suit you.

Do you experience self-doubt or sometimes feel stuck or frustrated as you try to bring your goals to life?

Do you sense that some elements of your life are not in alignment with your deepest longings, values and potential?

In my 20's and 30's, decision-making and creating a clear life path was pretty excruciating for me. It took me a dang WHILE to feel like I was actually adulting - and the journey to get there was painful.

About 14 months months ago, I was interviewed by Stephenie Zamora on her Tales from the Journey Podcast.

It was a rich conversation and I'd love to share it with you.

Are you coming out of a difficult life chapter?

Do you feel tender or bruised right now?

Has your life tumbled apart and you’re sorting out how to reassemble all the scattered puzzle pieces - possibly saturated with grief and bewilderment at the impossible process?

Is it as though an old version of yourself is gone and you’re trying to figure out who you are now?

I’ve been quiet for a while.

For much of the summer and early fall, I stopped blogging, creating videos, emailing my newsletter, even sharing much on my personal Facebook and Instagram accounts.

It’s mostly because, for the past three months, I’ve been ‘Covid long-hauling.’

After experiencing my original onset of symptoms back in March - exactly one week after attending an international conference - and feeling much better in the spring, I started feeling unwell again in July.

I haven’t had one full day since then when I have felt like ‘my old self:’ high energy or symptom-free.

Do you ever wonder why some of your dreams and desires seem to remain chronically frustrated or elusively out of reach?

Maybe you've been trying to start a running routine for months or longing for a new career, home, romantic partner, or bank account for years...

There are usually myriad reasons we get blocked, of course (both internal and external / personal and systemic) - but I'd love to share a few clues as to what can sometimes get in our way.

As always, I hope this finds you and your loved ones safe and well.

Here we are, just a little past the three week mark since the Covid19 global pandemic was declared.

In Canada, many leaders are suggesting we may be in variations of 'social distancing' until at least July, with further unpredictability stretching beyond that.

I don't know about you but, to me, the 'old normal' feels so utterly far away.

First, another huge wave of care coming your way!

Collectively, we feel poised for an unpredictable and difficult short-term future - even it is also certain to be threaded with love, resilience, courage, and the potentiality for transformative good.

I've actually been a bit ill myself this week (my doctor assesses probable and mild Covid19!) and - like most of you, no doubt - my family and I have been adjusting to quite radically altered new rhythms and routines on the home front.

Wow, this historic moment on the planet!

First of all, sending you a huge whoosh of care and a massive virtual hug.

Many of you are probably already taking measures to support 'social distancing' and cancelling everything as a prevention tool to help our health care systems, providers, and communities in the coming months - especially the most vulnerable to Covid19.

Today is the last day I’m sharing a written blog post with you.

This is because change lies ahead and (drum roll, please)…..

I’m starting a podcast in March!

The transition to the new medium starts now.

I’ve been dreaming about this new venture for months and can’t quite believe I’m really turning it into a reality: I’ve hired a podcast editor, set a launch date, ordered my recording gear and started brainstorming names.

This past New Year’s Eve, I lay awake in my parent-in-laws’ home around eleven at night, beside my young, sleeping children, unable to settle.

I waited for my partner, Dan, to come to bed, then told him I was feeling existential angst (Happy New Year’s, honey!) ;) and asked if we could talk, so that I could (hopefully) soothe my rattled nervous system.

I launched into my fears and contemplations on the very cusp of 2020: 

I was going to write you a post all about the coming decade for humanity - and your role in it. (Yeah, I was going to start on that light note! ;))

But I’m pushing that theme ahead by another couple of weeks and instead kicking off with a couple of questions for you:

• As we embark on 2020, do you feel full of pep and vigor, ready to dive into the year?

• Is your inner landscape like a fresh clean slate: you’re poised and eager for change?

If you’re saying, ‘Yes! Yes! That’s me!’ I send the angels singing on high to bless your aspirations and send out a whoop and cheer as you step forward into your year. 

However, feel free to stop reading: this post isn’t for you. 

Onwards with your energetic bad self and I can’t wait to see what you create in 2020! :)

I worried. Oh my god, am I throwing money into a vortex? Am I getting caught in fantasies and sucked into programs that aren’t actually going to get me new results? Am I avoiding simply doing the work, endlessly seeking guidance and hand-holding? What’s wrong with me? Am I getting dependant on others when I should be able to buck up and execute on my own?

I won’t pretend I didn’t freak out a bit after I purchased my first coaching program!

That did happen.

But thank god I stayed the course.

Stepping up in this way was a game-changer moment for me: I finally committed my time, my money, and my wholehearted intentionality to the path I had yearned to walk for years: it was a highly meaningful moment of finally going all in on my dream.

One time a couple came in for a ‘3-hour power coaching session’ with me - let’s call them Simon and Alethia - and I witnessed them pull off a massive turnaround in record time
When Simon and Alethia showed up to see me they had been dreaming of moving out of a big city and into a smaller, rural setting for no less than five years!

They were worn down by constantly thinking about this goal but never taking action on it - truly tired of having variations on the same conversation for years, feeling immobilized and endlessly ‘ping-ponging’ between wanting to go for their dream but feeling too afraid to do so.

In an intense and lengthy conversation, we covered many bases: we explored each individual’s fears and reservations as well as their hopes and dreams when they contemplated staying in their current home or lifting up their roots and transplanting to a new community. 

The insights we unearthed were important and helpful but I believe the biggest catalyst that enabled this couple find the courage to finally make a decision and commit to it was to take an essential question that they had been pondering for five years and to turn it on its head.

So, what was that question?!

Maybe you can relate:

So, what does a pivot look like, exactly?

How do we know when a pivot is the wise path to take (and not just letting ourselves off the hook when the going gets tough?)

How can one pivot with grace and also take care of the parts of ourselves experiencing a discomforting sense of loss, disappointment, or failure?

Do you ever find yourself putting off a task that would release you from a bottleneck and actually get you moving forward?

Do you procrastinate on tackling something that may not feel great in the moment - even though it’s crucial to get it done?

Do you sometimes avoid a project that scares you?

Probably.

I mean, you’re human!