Nourish Your Life with a Year End Review
It’s that time when many will begin to anticipate 2024 and start churning out resolutions, inspired by the promise of a fresh new year.
Do you find yourself marinating on some things you want to change?
I swear, I’m going to dust off my rowing machine in the basement and actually use it.
It’s time to quit drinking three cups of coffee a day.
I’m going to finally start writing my book, dammit. 2023 is the year!
Sometimes we pile up a whole bunch of vigorous new goals and resolve to bring them all to fruition, as we crack open that new calendar:
Ok, I’ll start a budget and lose ten pounds and go to a therapy session with my sister and clean up my office and, hmmm, let’s be sure to renovate the kitchen this year, too.
Oh, my goodness, we can really kick things up into high gear and expect a lot of ourselves!
Given this tendency to overload ourselves, push hard, fast and furious right out of the gate, it’s not surprising that most people’s resolutions flare and then dwindle quickly, with little long term success.
This approach sets us up to get overwhelmed and give up - often mired in self-flagellation.
And yet, and yet: if you’re in the Northern Hemisphere, it’s winter, people.
That means, your animal body is not designed to rev up right now so much as it likely wants to cycle with the darker days: sleep longer, rest more, cuddle up and cozy in. It’s the fallow season.
And whatever hemisphere we live in, many of us are depleted from traumatizing historic conditions.
Most of us are tired. Understandably. Validly.
So gearing up for intense productivity can go against our energetic, embodied instincts.
Now, if it happens that your personal rhythm feels primed for a surge of change or you’re longing to use this new year as impetus to support an important shift, trust yourself and go for it!
However, I do want to sing the praises of stillness, silence, rest and turning inward at this time of year - even though they counter many of the dominant cultural pressures.
I also want to offer you my favourite year-end tools and provide a tip on how to actually make and protect the time for these powerful activities.
Stillness, Silence, and Rest
It can be so meaningful - and nourishing! - to honor winter’s energies.
Instead of rushing towards the future, consider slowing down, listening within and first sifting through memories of your year past, surfacing insights and harvesting learning.
If we prioritize strategizing for the new year, we can miss the wisdom that is available when we pay attention to the nudges, yearnings and questions alive in our hearts in the here and now.
You may also discover the gentle power of writing down your dreams and wishes, if you drop a determination to turn them immediately into goals.
If these sentiments resonate, you might want to experiment with Sarah Susanka’s Year End Review.
An author and architect, Susanka posits that we are not in control of our lives to the extent that we often perceive; and her process invites us to be the gardeners of our lives, cultivating good things by paying closer attention to our inner lives and creating greater spaciousness within ourselves.
I also want to add one more bit of food for thought, especially for those of you who find it almost incomprehensible to imagine where you would carve out the time for reflection.
The Power of Shared Solitude:
I get it: it can be so hard to make the time and space to quiet down and turn our attention inwards, even if we comprehend the benefits that are available through contemplative presence.
There will always be people to care for, meals to cook and tasks that need doing - and some people carry heavier burdens and/or experience greater time scarcity, in an increasingly unequal economy.
Additionally, our world gets ‘noisier’ and more fast-paced and superficial, as ever more intrusive gadgets and social media platforms compete for our attention in an attention-based economy.
So, it requires more intentionality than ever to slow down and connect with our inner wisdom.
So, my tip may seem counterintuitive but here it is: if you find it impossible to create conditions of solitude, invite others to co-create them with you.
It can be hard to do this work on our own: so, let’s not keep trying to do it all by ourselves!
As as example, what I often do now to celebrate my birthday (I just turned 48 on December 3rd!) is invite friends to share cozy reflective time with me.
One of my quiet parties, back in 2019.
Shared solitude is not everyone’s cup of tea but I cherish how we can cultivate calm and peace together - I find that we can amplify silence, focus and co-create a deep well of stillness.
If left to our own devices, we might set aside time to journal and then find ourselves scrolling on our phones or convincing ourselves that we’re too tired or can’t make the time (or is that just me?).
Whereas, when accompanied by others, it’s much easier to not scrap our well-laid plans.
Want support for shared solitude? See below!
I’m hosting a (FREE!) Year-End Virtual Retreat on Wednesday, January 3rd 2024. Join me to protect reflective space in your busy life.
Details to learn more and sign up below.
Year End Review Tools
So, I’ve already let you know about Sarah Susanka’s YER ritual. You can read more about it here.
I also highly recommend a (free) guide that helps you close your year and plan the next called the YearCompass Tool. You can download it in many languages and they refresh the format every year.
I’ve done the compass on my own and with friends, and it usually takes 4-5 hours to do it fully.
Where Sarah’s YER offers a good handful of powerful questions about the past, present, and future and suggests making 8-10 hours for the experience, the YearCompass provides a TON of bite-sized, evocative prompts that I find make the process feel highly guided and do-able.
I believe that either of these tools will help you feel more connected to yourself, release what no longer serves you, and nourish your heartfelt dreams for the future.
Let’s Wrap this Baby Up:
So, I encourage you to carve out the time for a YER. I’m confident that you’ll get huge benefit out of it - and further, that if you complete a YER annually, the gifts will only compound.
As always, I’d love to hear from you in the comments below: what’s your key takeaway from this post and how could you put it into action?
To your inner wisdom, a rich 2024 for you - and more peace and healing in our world.
(And if you want to join me to make time for a YER, I’d love to see you on January 3rd!)
P.S. If you’re already in holiday mode and the rest of the year is likely to be a blur but you’ve been thinking about coaching as a catalyst to support your big dreams or questions, let’s connect. I would be delighted to chat with you and hear about your growth edges. XO, N
Nicola Holmes is a Life Coach who helps people turn their potent questions, dreams and longings into inspired action. With warmth and wisdom, she’ll guide you to untangle constraints and cultivate courage to create a more aligned and joyful life. She has a BASc in Human Development, an MEd in Adult Learning and spent two decades working in the non-profit sector. Along with coaching for the past 14 years, she’s mama to two young spirited kids and dedicated to Buddhism. Having experienced long Covid and a move over the past two years, she brings deep empathy to others who are exploring how they’ve changed and who they’re becoming in turbulent times. Check out Nicola @nicolaholmescoach or join the email party for inspiration and resources to fuel the changes you want.